When I chose to move 15 hours away from everything I knew and loved I had no idea what God would teach me, but from what I've experienced (and what many of you know), because of my hard-headed self, he often uses physical isolation and getting me out of my comfort zone to open my eyes and give me a sweet smack in the face, and this was no exception. So when I got here and found myself alone and feeling insignificant, I'm not sure why I was so surprised that everything didn't come so easy.
Everything from work, to finding friends, to finding a church (and still is, to a certain extent) just didn't seem to fall into place. It was hard. Really hard. My extroverted self screamed to burst out of my office cubicle and be out in the open, where at least I could see other people. And my flesh longed to feel accepted and loved by people here, but I just wasn't getting it. Trying to cover every spare moment with busyness and keeping myself around others, even if it meant going to the gym for two hours, I found myself creeping back into my biggest struggle of approval and insignificance. My flesh desires something tangible-a group of girls (which, by the way, having my 5 best girl friends in the whole entire world being taken from you in an instant definitely did not help! ;), my boyfriend, parents, family, friends, the list goes on and on...
But Jesus reminded me this morning these simple 3 words:
"I. Am. Enough."
My circumstances do not define who Jesus is. And even if I was exiled on an island with nothing and no one, still, He is, and will always be enough.
Now, of course I believe God greatly values relationships with others; however, I also believe these are gifts that he chooses to bless us with. I was gently and ever so kindly asked by Him this morning "Victoria, where is your source?"
Finding my source of joy in people, relationships, successes, progress, food, experiences, etc. will lead me down a road of emptiness.
So, my prayer for this week is that Jesus would be our source of joy and we would not wallow in circumstances or put our hope in things that will quickly pass. I pray we would "take hold of the eternal life to which we were called..."
In other news, here's a quick hodgepodge of snapshots of my time here. They're pretty out of order but you'll get the picture;) Enjoy Enjoy!
(First day of work selfie)
I've loved getting snail-mail from friends! Thanks Christy!
This AWESOME card from Vance
Some sweet girls at a store wrote a list of things for me to do in Grand Rapids which included
- Vintage stores
- The #3 farmer's market in the US
- A city bazaar
- A yummy cafe
- A free trade shop FULL of stuff they buy from villages in India, which I spent a good hour in!
- Coffee shops (of course)
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